Help for the Self

Last summer I got sucked into a vortex of self help books that spit me out sometime around October.  They mostly centered around positivity and affirmations and the oh so "secret"  law of attraction.  I read so many, in fact, I'm completely confident I could write my own.  Then I thought "You're much too lazy to write an entire book".  Then I thought maybe I could inspire others to write their own self help books.

I'll CliffsNotes my expert advice for you now:

First things first, are you a life coach?  I won't say it's a necessity but how can you expect to be taken seriously if you can't share anecdotes about your life coaching clients?  Life coach=life expert as far as I'm concerned.  If you have a couple hours and $100 bucks to spare, you could get our life coaching certification online right now.

If you don't have the word "positivity" in your book at least 2000 times, you're probably doing it wrong.

Other expressions you should overuse:
Being present
Limiting beliefs
Intention
Consciousness
Visualization
Grounding
Intentional grounding  (Oh, wait.  That's football.)

Leave lots of blank pages after asking open-ended questions.  You shouldn't have to do all the writing work, amirite?

Be vague.  Write about a point in your life when you felt down, low, and miserable but never share the details.  You wouldn't want to connect to your readers on a human level would you?  You should leave them wanting more so they subscribe to your blog, your Instagram, your Facebook, and follow you on Twitter.  (PS-  You should have all those accounts anyway.   How else are people going to find out about your life coaching services?)

You could actually use the opposite approach and be very specific about a sad time in your life but make sure it makes you appear over-privileged or completely out of touch with reality.  That time the Corvette dealership was out of black cars and you were completely devastated for that month it took to have one special ordered?  You should totally share that.  People going through a divorce or the death of a loved one that have picked up your book for comfort are sure to relate to your struggles.

Have you thought about a cover for your book?  How about a flower?  Or your face?  Or your face superimposed on a flower?  Or you on a beach.  Dangle a crystal between your eyes.  Hold a yoga pose.  While balancing on a dolphin.  A dolphin that is riding on a rainbow wave of cosmic energy.  I mean synergy.

Batman:  Self help guru  **source**

And, finally, talk about yoga. If everyone did yoga they wouldn't need self help books.  Because yoga.