Reading when you don't wanna: A How-To Guide

I consider myself a bookworm and I looove books but sometimes I feel like I have two modes when it comes to reading:  "read everything" and "ugh... don't make me read".

This past year I definitely spent most of my time in the latter mode.  I just could not get hyped up about reading.  I read a few books but, let's just say, I would not have earned any pizzas from Book It! this year.

 
I thought I would share a few tips on how to get yourself out of a reading slump:

• Get your eyes checked!  Reading had become literally become painful because my vision had changed and I needed a different eyeglass prescription.  My left eye was compensating for my weaker right eye and was giving me headaches.  Our vision changes as we age  (I didn't need glasses until I was 33!) so it's a good idea if you notice any blurriness, double vision, dryness, etc.
• Don't force yourself to read a book that just isn't drawing you in or holding your attention.  (I found out Mr. Coffee finishes a book and I was appalled.  Life is too short to read shitty books.) If you hate it, stop reading it.   
• If you're solely a fiction buff, try non-fiction and vice versa.  If you have a favorite author why not read their biography?  It might help you appreciate their work even more and inspire you to read any books you might have missed.  This can be applied to other genres as well.  If you're always reading horror, you might get tired of wading through the stacks to find the one book published this year that doesn't involve the sex lives of vampires.  Instead of giving up on horror why not befriend its brother fantasy or its cousin science fiction?
• Change the medium.  Sometimes something as simple as flipping through a magazine can help flex your reading muscles.  (It's a muscle right?)  Or try manga or comic books.  How about an art book or travel guide*?
• Re-read a book you know you love.  
• Set an attainable reading goal for yourself.  Having spent a lot of last year on the couch or in bed, I realized it was lazier easier to binge watch a season of shows than to choose a book and start reading.  Instead of another episode of The Office, why not turn off the TV, set the timer on your phone for 20 minutes, and read?

*These are not affiliate links, merely suggestions.

Help for the Self

Last summer I got sucked into a vortex of self help books that spit me out sometime around October.  They mostly centered around positivity and affirmations and the oh so "secret"  law of attraction.  I read so many, in fact, I'm completely confident I could write my own.  Then I thought "You're much too lazy to write an entire book".  Then I thought maybe I could inspire others to write their own self help books.

I'll CliffsNotes my expert advice for you now:

First things first, are you a life coach?  I won't say it's a necessity but how can you expect to be taken seriously if you can't share anecdotes about your life coaching clients?  Life coach=life expert as far as I'm concerned.  If you have a couple hours and $100 bucks to spare, you could get our life coaching certification online right now.

If you don't have the word "positivity" in your book at least 2000 times, you're probably doing it wrong.

Other expressions you should overuse:
Being present
Limiting beliefs
Intention
Consciousness
Visualization
Grounding
Intentional grounding  (Oh, wait.  That's football.)

Leave lots of blank pages after asking open-ended questions.  You shouldn't have to do all the writing work, amirite?

Be vague.  Write about a point in your life when you felt down, low, and miserable but never share the details.  You wouldn't want to connect to your readers on a human level would you?  You should leave them wanting more so they subscribe to your blog, your Instagram, your Facebook, and follow you on Twitter.  (PS-  You should have all those accounts anyway.   How else are people going to find out about your life coaching services?)

You could actually use the opposite approach and be very specific about a sad time in your life but make sure it makes you appear over-privileged or completely out of touch with reality.  That time the Corvette dealership was out of black cars and you were completely devastated for that month it took to have one special ordered?  You should totally share that.  People going through a divorce or the death of a loved one that have picked up your book for comfort are sure to relate to your struggles.

Have you thought about a cover for your book?  How about a flower?  Or your face?  Or your face superimposed on a flower?  Or you on a beach.  Dangle a crystal between your eyes.  Hold a yoga pose.  While balancing on a dolphin.  A dolphin that is riding on a rainbow wave of cosmic energy.  I mean synergy.

Batman:  Self help guru  **source**

And, finally, talk about yoga. If everyone did yoga they wouldn't need self help books.  Because yoga.