Reading when you don't wanna: A How-To Guide

I consider myself a bookworm and I looove books but sometimes I feel like I have two modes when it comes to reading:  "read everything" and "ugh... don't make me read".

This past year I definitely spent most of my time in the latter mode.  I just could not get hyped up about reading.  I read a few books but, let's just say, I would not have earned any pizzas from Book It! this year.

 
I thought I would share a few tips on how to get yourself out of a reading slump:

• Get your eyes checked!  Reading had become literally become painful because my vision had changed and I needed a different eyeglass prescription.  My left eye was compensating for my weaker right eye and was giving me headaches.  Our vision changes as we age  (I didn't need glasses until I was 33!) so it's a good idea if you notice any blurriness, double vision, dryness, etc.
• Don't force yourself to read a book that just isn't drawing you in or holding your attention.  (I found out Mr. Coffee finishes a book and I was appalled.  Life is too short to read shitty books.) If you hate it, stop reading it.   
• If you're solely a fiction buff, try non-fiction and vice versa.  If you have a favorite author why not read their biography?  It might help you appreciate their work even more and inspire you to read any books you might have missed.  This can be applied to other genres as well.  If you're always reading horror, you might get tired of wading through the stacks to find the one book published this year that doesn't involve the sex lives of vampires.  Instead of giving up on horror why not befriend its brother fantasy or its cousin science fiction?
• Change the medium.  Sometimes something as simple as flipping through a magazine can help flex your reading muscles.  (It's a muscle right?)  Or try manga or comic books.  How about an art book or travel guide*?
• Re-read a book you know you love.  
• Set an attainable reading goal for yourself.  Having spent a lot of last year on the couch or in bed, I realized it was lazier easier to binge watch a season of shows than to choose a book and start reading.  Instead of another episode of The Office, why not turn off the TV, set the timer on your phone for 20 minutes, and read?

*These are not affiliate links, merely suggestions.

What I did on my blogging vacation

Don't let the title mislead you.  I didn't actually go on vacation.  I just took a mostly involuntary vacation from blogging.
So what have I been up to?  How about a bullet list?

• Personal life stuff:  I said goodbye to my bestest furry friend of 11 years in July.  Unfortunately, he was suffering from some degenerative mental issues which were making him aggressive towards our other dog and people.  Also, I've been ill with a mystery disease that the doctors here aren't that eager to find the cause of/treatment for.  *sigh*  I see a specialist in December because he's booked until then.  Small town life.  Gotta love it!  Anyway, I've been tired, achy, and just generally feeling like I'm coming down with the flu.  I have had the downtime to read and watch TV, though, so it's not all bad.
• Reading:  I've been reading lots of books on Buddhism lately.  My two favorites so far:  Transform Your Life:  A Blissful Journey by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso and Buddhism:  Plain and Simple by Steve Hagen. I also read a couple Ann Rule books and I'm working through a book of Anne Sexton poetry.
• Playing:  I've been farming it up on Story of Seasons but then Happy Home Designer (an Animal Crossing spinoff game) came out and I've been spending my gaming time designing houses for adorable critters.  (Expect a full report at a later date.)

• Watching:  Season 6 of The League, season 4 of Once Upon a Time, season 1 of The Following, and season 1 of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  I've also been re-watching all the Star Wars movies which has incited a household feud of which movie was better:  Return of the Jedi or The Empire Strikes Back.  Obviously Return of the Jedi was better because Ewoks.  Duh!

I hope to get back to blogging, even if it means I only crank out one post a week.  But I'm going to shoot for two because dream big, right?

The Fangirl's Guide to... something

Back story:  Amazon had been hounding me to buy The Fangirl's Guide to the Galaxy.  I guess that's what happens when your shopping history consists mainly of Harry Potter movies and Pop! Vinyl figures.
I was about to cave when I visited my local library and I spotted the book sitting on a center table display like a beacon shining directly into my nerdy heart.

One of us!  One of us!

After reading it, I realized this same beacon was only masking the song of bad book sirens that were waiting on the rocks to crush my geek girl heart into dust.
Ok... no more seafaring references.
Sam Maggs, if that's your real name, I really wanted to like your book.  I really did.  The title grabbed my attention and the book's petite size made me feel like I was reading the personal journal of a fellow fangirl.  And then I read it...
If I was 12 or 13 and looking for a ready-made identity to morph into, I'd probably think Fangirl's Guide was an awesome book.  The first chapter explains what exactly a fangirl is.  Um... it's in the word.  A girl who is a fan of... something.  Then Maggs goes on to detail various fandoms such as Potterheads and Trekkies. 
Personally, I believe you can be a fangirl for chemistry or General Hospital or craft beers.  Someone can "geek out" about something that isn't a stereotypical "geeky" subject.  Fangirl's Guide just seemed so... basic.  If Tumblr had published a book about its biggest fandoms, it would be Fangirl's Guide to the Galaxy.

Other low points:
The little interviews with geek girls who made it big scattered throughout each chapter were not insightful at all.  They were asked to define what a "fangirl" was and they all basically stated a person who is passionate about something.  Thanks for that brand new information!
At one point, she described "levels" of fandom and how a fangirl might acquire a tattoo to represent her queen bee fan status among her peers.
Her tips for con going were nothing earth-shattering that you couldn't find with a quick Google search.
She gave the impression that geek girls will always run up against some form of discrimination from geek boys at conventions, comic book shops, gaming tournaments, etc. based solely on the fact that they are female.  Throughout my years of being a fangirl, I've only run across one rude person, who happened to be male, and who chose to act from the safety of his keyboard via Facebook.  (A simple unfriending solved that problem.)  Maggs gives the impression that cons and comic book shops are full of meanies just waiting for the chance to quiz some poor unsuspecting geek girl on her knowledge of Starfleet ships.
At the end of the book, she touches on feminism and the roles of women in fiction.  Because the subject of over-sexualization of women in comic books and video games has never been broached before this revolutionary book was published.

In the end, this book was a huge disappointment (that I'm glad I didn't actually pay for).  I was hoping for a book of personal anecdotes about forays into cosplaying or the first time someone got schooled at a Pokemon tournament.  What I got was a "how to" guide and no one can tell you how to be a fan of something.  You don't need a book or a website or a blog to tell you how to love something.  You only need passion.
That'll be $19.95 please.

Fangirling: Anaïs Nin

I thought instead of reviewing a book or movie or game, I could talk about one of my favorite authors.
**Full disclosure:  I wrote this post forever ago for my old blog but my AC has been out since Thursday, and I think the part of my brain that is capable of stringing together coherent sentences melted and ran out of my ears at some point yesterday afternoon.**
Is there a book you could read over and over again?  One of those books, for me, is White Oleander by Janet Fitch.  One of the main characters, Ingrid, is a poet and often "prescribes" books to her daughter Astrid to help her cope with her life as a teenager.  One of the authors she brought up was Anaïs Nin, and was immediately curious.  The only thing I'd ever heard about her was that she wrote dirty books.  Why would a mother tell her teenage daughter to read smut?  I had to know!

While Ms.  Nin did write a few volumes of erotica, her published diaries are where the really juicy stuff is hidden.  (I swear I'm not a perv!  Maybe a little bit of a perv.  But a harmless perv.)
A few years ago, I picked up a copy of Anaïs Nin's journal Henry and June and fell instantly in love.   The writing is both poetic and raw and her journaling draws you not only into her life but into her brilliant mind.
I'm going to assume 
Anaïs never fell victim to a boring day in her life.  Not only was she a writer, but also a dancer, an analyst, a mistress, and a muse.  A combination of lover and muse for the author Henry Miller.  She was married to a somewhat reserved banker, but desired her independence during a time when women's desires and dreams were often put on the back burner for household duties and child rearing.  She wanted to venture out to the dive bars, the whorehouses.  To experience life on the fringes while knowing she always had a comfortable house with servants and hot food and clean sheets to scurry back to when shit got real.  She was the queen of slumming it.
I am into my fourth diary now, and I've found them all hard to put down.  While I don't agree with her extramarital activities, her story-telling and poetic language captivate me.  She lived life fully, but she also observed and recorded every tiny detail.  I think writers, with their observation skills and seemingly photographic memories, really know how to exist in the present moment.  
I only wish I could write/blog/journal half as beautifully as Anaïs did.  Or travel the world.  Or be able to pick the brains of sculptors, poets, musicians, actors...
But a little vicarious living  never hurt anyone.



The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer

According to my good friend Wikipedia, lots of booksellers refused to stock The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer  due to its graphic content.  I've read dirtier things, but Laura's frank use of drugs and the detached way she describes her sexual encounters is definitely unsettling.  It's easier to stomach if you can forget the fact that this is NOT the diary of a teenaged girl.

Well, I was in my 20s when Twin Peaks was filmed.

Diary begins on the day of Laura's twelfth birthday.  Spoiler:  The diary is a birthday gift.  Laura describes her life as idyllic, only vaguely hinting at the malevolence that lies beneath the surface of her picture-perfect life. At first it's hard to feel pity for her.  I mean, damn, she gets a pony for her birthday.  A freaking pony!  Want to know what I got when I turned 12?  I can't remember because it wasn't a damn pony.
**If you've never seen Twin Peaks from beginning to end, stop reading NOW!**
It doesn't take long to get to the juicy bits of the diary when we are made privy to little Laura's *ahem* solo bedtime activities.  Laura also begins to admit that she has been visited by the mysterious killer BOB for several years and she is never sure whether he is real or simply a horrifying recurring nightmare.
Diary drags you through the muck and mire of Laura's double life.  Straight-A homecoming queen by day, cocaine-fueled sex toy by night.  The diary becomes harder to comprehend as cocaine and BOB's madness begin to saturate its pages.  Laura's frantic desperation is almost palpable as the book winds down to its ultimate conclusion... Laura's death.
If you're anything like me and need to read or watch anything Twin Peaks-related you can get your hands on, you should definitely find yourself a copy of The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer.  The book is a sort of sequel to Twin Peaks and the later events coincide with those from the movie Fire Walk With Me. (It even notes where pages are missing, keeping in line with FWWM.) 

Here is a list of other Twin Peaks reading material to satisfy your curiosity.

Help for the Self

Last summer I got sucked into a vortex of self help books that spit me out sometime around October.  They mostly centered around positivity and affirmations and the oh so "secret"  law of attraction.  I read so many, in fact, I'm completely confident I could write my own.  Then I thought "You're much too lazy to write an entire book".  Then I thought maybe I could inspire others to write their own self help books.

I'll CliffsNotes my expert advice for you now:

First things first, are you a life coach?  I won't say it's a necessity but how can you expect to be taken seriously if you can't share anecdotes about your life coaching clients?  Life coach=life expert as far as I'm concerned.  If you have a couple hours and $100 bucks to spare, you could get our life coaching certification online right now.

If you don't have the word "positivity" in your book at least 2000 times, you're probably doing it wrong.

Other expressions you should overuse:
Being present
Limiting beliefs
Intention
Consciousness
Visualization
Grounding
Intentional grounding  (Oh, wait.  That's football.)

Leave lots of blank pages after asking open-ended questions.  You shouldn't have to do all the writing work, amirite?

Be vague.  Write about a point in your life when you felt down, low, and miserable but never share the details.  You wouldn't want to connect to your readers on a human level would you?  You should leave them wanting more so they subscribe to your blog, your Instagram, your Facebook, and follow you on Twitter.  (PS-  You should have all those accounts anyway.   How else are people going to find out about your life coaching services?)

You could actually use the opposite approach and be very specific about a sad time in your life but make sure it makes you appear over-privileged or completely out of touch with reality.  That time the Corvette dealership was out of black cars and you were completely devastated for that month it took to have one special ordered?  You should totally share that.  People going through a divorce or the death of a loved one that have picked up your book for comfort are sure to relate to your struggles.

Have you thought about a cover for your book?  How about a flower?  Or your face?  Or your face superimposed on a flower?  Or you on a beach.  Dangle a crystal between your eyes.  Hold a yoga pose.  While balancing on a dolphin.  A dolphin that is riding on a rainbow wave of cosmic energy.  I mean synergy.

Batman:  Self help guru  **source**

And, finally, talk about yoga. If everyone did yoga they wouldn't need self help books.  Because yoga.